


Secret

by taormina



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Adultery, Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mark is a troubled soul, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Still Going to Hell, Unrequited Love, having sex in secret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 07:36:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3887752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taormina/pseuds/taormina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One summer day at six o’clock in the morning, Mark shows up at Gary’s door with two packed suitcases. Gary takes Mark in, no questions asked, and this is what happens later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret

When Gary sneaked into Mark’s bedroom that evening under the pretence that he was going to talk to him about songs for the new record, Gary didn’t have any reservations. He knew precisely what he had come for and why. Thankfully, the fact that Mark hadn’t even bothered to put on appropriate nightwear despite _saying at someone else’s house with someone else’s family for Christ’s sake,_ didn’t make the decision to shag him there and then much harder; he was only wearing a sleeveless shirt, and black boxers to match.

Needless to say, Mark looked good. Beyond good. His choice of underwear left little to the imagination, and his white sleeveless shirt was already damp with perspiration, the thin material clinging gratuitously to his small frame. Gary couldn’t wait to remove that shirt and get his hands all over Mark’s body.

Gary gently closed the door behind him, his eyes lingering on Mark’s boxers a little longer than he’d like to admit. ‘Look mate, the kids are all asleep, but me wife’s still up, all right, and I told her we’re discussing a song on the new record so we’ve got about ten minutes till I need to make it back. Mind you,’ he added when he saw Mark’s cheeky grin, ‘I don’t want you moaning the whole of London awake, mate.’

Mark’s smile made Gary wish he had put on a t-shirt instead of a blouse with far too many buttons.

‘Ten minutes’ll do,’ said Mark casually as he crept closer, secretly wishing Gary would stay a little longer than that.

Mark hadn’t travelled all the way to Gary’s house with two packed suitcases for only ten minutes of quality time, but he wasn’t complaining, and he wasn’t keen on telling Gary the real reasons for his departure anyway.

‘Is it all right if I kiss ya?’ Mark said finally. They were inches away from each other now, like they were both sizing each other up to see who would be the one to crack first. 

‘God, yes.’ Gary nodded, and Mark closed the tantalizingly small space between them by firmly planting his lips on Gary’s.

Before Gary had the time to get his head around the fact that Mark was kissing him _inside his house_ , Mark had already started unbuttoning his blouse. For a couple of seconds, the sensation of his mate’s fingers lightly touching his skin made Gary not think so clearly any more, like every thought had been eradicated from his mind.

He’d been through this scenario with Mark before, in just about every way possible: in dressing rooms, at the back of tour buses, in garden sheds, and underneath radio desks (truth be told, the latter had been a bit of a mistake). Yet every time they did, it was like the first time all over again. Gary felt relatively confident that he was a competent lover, but even now he had no idea what to do with his hands, where to put them or most importantly, _what to do with them_.

He had no clue whether he should close his eyes and experience everything so much more intensely, put faith in his remaining instincts and feel every touch, and hear every moan and sigh that escaped Mark’s lips, or keep his eyes open and take in Mark’s beauty, take it all in …

All he could think of was Mark’s tongue in his throat and Mark’s hair and the stupid dolphin tattoo on his belly and the look on his face when he comes _ugh_ and Gary couldn’t help but moan a little too loudly.

The guttural sound that escaped Gary’s lips suddenly reminded him of how precarious this situation was.

He broke off the kiss immediately.

‘Oh Jesus,’ said Gary, leaning back against the wall as though putting an end to the kiss had been a particularly strenuous action. ‘This is harder than I thought, this is.’

Mark felt hurt. He wanted to make love to Gary more than he wanted anything right now, but he couldn’t let it show. If Gary found out that he had a desire that went far above and beyond the usual fucking and kissing, they’d both be in a whole lot of trouble. He’d have to laugh it off, pretend he was okay with calling it a day and heading to bed on his own, so instead he raised his eyebrows and looked at Gary’s crotch: ‘I agree, Gaz. Very hard.’

‘I’m serious, Mark, we need to be careful about this.’ Gary scratched the back of his head awkwardly, extremely aware of the fact that he was, indeed, sporting a very obvious hard-on. ‘Are you sure you want to go through with this?’

‘Are _you_?’

‘I asked first, and anyway, this is _my_ house you’re in, Mark.’

Mark shrugged and wrinkled his nose. ‘I came to your house for a reason, didn’t I?’ Changing the subject:  ‘Now shall I go put me pajamas on or do you want us to do something about that erection of yours?’

‘ _Mark_ ,’ said Gary, more firmly now.

A beat –

‘Of course I’m _sure_ ,’ said Mark. There was a smile on his face, but it didn’t extend to his eyes. Gary had a feeling that there was something that Mark wasn’t telling him. What, he couldn’t tell. ‘I’m absolutely sure this is where I want to be at the moment and that – you know, that don’t happen often.’ 

Gary considered it. ‘You never told me why you left though. Home, I mean.’

‘Never mind that,’ said Mark, vaguely waving his hand in the air as though that might make the subject disappear. ‘C’mere.’

Wanting to show Gary that _yes, he wanted to go through with this_ , and _yes, he was in the same room as him right now thank you very much,_ Mark traced Gary’s jaw with his fingertips. He hadn’t shaved. Mark loved Gary like that: unshaved and just a little bit untidy. Sure, he loved seeing Gary in a suit as much as the next guy, but this Gary _here_? With his blouse half-open, his hair uncombed and a blush on his face? _That_ was the Gary he liked most.

It was the realest sight Mark had ever seen.

Momentarily distracted by the many thoughts and images that were flooding his mind, Gary tried to get back to his original train of thought. ‘Are you sure though? Cos if you wanna address some of your issues, then, um.’

Gary wished Mark would let him suck his fingers.

Mark thought about it. (The ‘addressing your issues like a grown adult’ bit, not the ‘please suck my fingers’ bit Gary had nearly thought out loud.) Gary and Mark – or rather, the band as a whole – had never shied away from talking about their personal issues before, at least not _this_ time around. Mark didn’t really feel like discussing his problems at home now, though. What was going on at home was between him and his family. Involving Gary would only make things a lot messier.

Gary probably knew this.

‘I know I haven’t been myself lately, what with, you know,’ Mark said vaguely, as though that explained everything,  ‘But I do know I wanna be with ya, I – I mean, have sex with ya, and, you know, to hell with it all. I want to spent this evening with you, here, regardless of the cost. There ya go. Let’s have some _fun_.’

There was more Mark wanted to tell Gary, but he couldn’t get the words out properly. Not now. Not here.

 _Especially_ not here.

‘You’re gorgeous, you are,’ said Gary, looking more reassured than he had all evening.

Mark licked his lips trying to imagine what Gary’s facial hair would feel like against his thighs.

‘I know. Now may I…?’ Mark said, gesturing at himself.

‘Oh. Yes. Of course.’

‘ _Good_.’

In one smooth movement, Mark took off his shirt. It landed on the floor with a soft thud, and Gary had to physically restrain himself from pushing Mark onto the bed there and then. God, he looked good shirtless.

‘Now, where was I?’ Mark said, and he kissed Gary hard, pressing his chest against Gary’s like he owned him. He left butterfly kisses on Gary’s forehead, the scar on his cheek, and the tip of his nose and eventually hid his face in his neck. Gary moaned contently.

‘Shh, not so loud,’ said Mark softly. The feeling of Mark’s breath against his neck sent shivers down Gary’s spine.

‘Soz.’

Gary took off his blouse as well as he could without Mark having to pause his ministrations, and threw it over an armchair. Despite his self-deprecating jokes about his looks,  Gary knew he had a decent body. Hell, a great one, even. Thus feeling more confident now, Gary pulled down Mark’s boxers ever so slightly and squeezed his bum, causing Mark to groan into his ear. He’d love to bend him over the writing desk and spank him. 

Mark bit Gary’s neck (not hard enough to leave a mark though; he wasn’t _that_ careless), and slowly continued kissing his way down his bare chest. He could tell Gary had been working out, more so than when they last had sex, which seemed like a very long time ago now. He was toned, but not ripped. His body felt hard. He still hard hairs on his body, though, and Mark growled when he finally unzipped Gary’s trousers and spotted the first signs of a happy trail.

‘Shh.’ Gary said, but he had to bite his lips to suppress a moan himself when he saw that Mark was already on his knees.

‘Last chance, Mr. Barlow,’ said Mark, looking up. He licked his lips. ‘Do ya wanna?’

Gary thought about it. There was a considerable chance that they would get caught. His wife would probably never look him in the eyes again. The press, if they ever found out about it, would tear down the pedestals they themselves had built for Take That over the years. It would potentially and catastrophically end their careers.

Then again, Gary was very aroused and very hard, and it’s not like they were actually in a relationship, now were they? Besides, the thought of Mark sucking his cock far outweighed the consequences of being caught. 

Mark, meanwhile, didn’t have to think about the consequences of this _escapade_ at all. He’d already gone way past the point of return as far as the home front was concerned, and his feelings for Gary being revealed to the world wouldn’t make any difference. After all, you can’t break a vase that’s already broken. Mark was, as he told Gary, exactly where he wanted to be, and would move heaven and Earth to be able to slow down the next few minutes as he had intended: as lovers, not as band mates with benefits.

‘Bollocks, yeah, why not,’ was all Gary could say before a very desperate Mark pulled down his boxers along with his trousers.

‘Gary, you slut.’ Having waited this long, Mark decided he might as well make Gary wait a while longer. He took Gary’s cock in his dominant hand and started pumping up — and down — very — very — slowly — and then a little faster — (Gary groaned) — now slower again — faster still —

He looked right at Gary —

His eyes dark and full of intent —

He kissed the tip of Gary’s cock, so lightly that Gary hardly felt it —

‘Jesus Christ, Mark,’ said Gary, jerking his hips forward, ‘Get on with it. I’m dying here.’

 Mark rolled his eyes. ‘You’re a right beggar, aren’t ya?’

‘Does it help if I say please?’

‘Mm.’ Mark spat on Gary’s cock, causing Gary to shiver. ‘Maybe.’

‘Oh _please_ , Mark.’

Mark licked the tip of Gary’s cock, tentatively at first —

Then a bit more thoroughly —

He swirled his tongue around the head, all the while pumping up and down with his fist slowly —

Gary desperately tried not to groan —

‘Mark, please, I’m _begging_ you.’

Mark smiled darkly. ‘Oh go on then.’

Not hesitating once, Mark took Gary’s entire length into his mouth and started bobbing up and down. Instinctively, Gary slid his hands around the back of Mark’s head, putting his long, slender fingers into his mate’s hair and pulling him closer. Mark didn’t seem to mind much, for he continued to suck him even more enthusiastically.

Gary wondered who was in charge here. Him, holding Mark in place while his needs were being catered to, or _Mark_ , who knew so well how to tease him. Nevertheless, the feeling was **amazing** , and it didn’t take long for Mark’s nose to be pressed against Gary’s abdomen.

What they were doing was wrong, _so_ wrong, but it was the best high the both of them had felt in a long time.

This is what Mark wanted: not necessarily to have sex with Gary around the clock, but to have this undeniable effect on each other all the time. For Mark, it wasn’t just about sex and the bliss after. It was about them creating something ace together, and Mark wished Gary could feel that too.

‘ _Fuck_.’ Gary was on the edge. If he’d truly have his way tonight, he’d most definitely decide to come all over Mark’s gorgeous face. Maybe he’d even try to taste himself on his lips. He knew he had to hold on just that little bit longer, though, and it took him every inch of self-discipline to push Mark away and let his cock slip out of Mark’s mouth.

‘Hey, I was just getting’ started,’ said Mark, wiping away the saliva from his lips.  

‘Need to be in you,’ Gary panted. ‘C’mon, get to the bed.’

Mark complied, and when Gary finally found all the bedroom necessities that he usually hid in the bottom drawer of a cupboard, Mark had already started touching himself on the bed, _the_ most pleading look in his eyes.

Gary was on top of Mark within seconds.

He lifted up Mark’s legs, pushing them back so that he’d be able to penetrate them at a better angle, and covered his cock in lube.

‘Ready?’ said Gary, and he kissed Mark on the mouth gently.

Mark nodded. ‘Oh yeah.’

Gary pushed in smoothly until he was all the way in. Mark moaned appreciatively, and Gary took that as a sign to start moving. He did so slowly, almost painstakingly so, and started picking up the pace when Mark started muttering swear words under his breath.

 _So desperate_.

Gary sped up, becoming more and more aware of the fact that they’d been at this for a quarter of an hour. His wife would be wondering what was keeping him by now. He preferred taking his time, getting to know Mark’s body like it was the first time over and over again … but not today.

He thrust in and out hard, and Gary knew he’d hit _that_ spot when Mark moaned a little too loudly.

‘Next time we’re booking you a hotel room,’ said Gary.

Mark grinned. ‘I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t y—’

 _Creak_.

Down the hallway, right outside the door, a light was turned on.

Gary’s heart leapt.

‘Shit, Mark,’ Gary whispered, and he covered Mark’s mouth in a futile attempt to stop him from making another sound.

(Naturally, this only aroused Mark more.)

Although Gary’s thrusts were previously so rhythmic, so constant, they were now becoming erratic.

‘I’m gonna have to — Oh God, shit, shit —’

There were footsteps down the hallway.

Gary was close to coming. Adrenaline was cursing through his body, both from arousal and utter fear; fear of getting caught in the act and losing everything he held dear.

Fear of not being able to fuck Mark properly.

Another light was turned on—

Gary recognized that beautiful look on his face that Mark always gets when he’s about to come—

A dog started barking—

 _They were about to get caught_.

Mark pressed his hips up, allowing Gary better entry.

Mark didn’t care what everyone else thought. He didn’t care if they were going to get caught. All Mark cared about in this moment is to be one with Gary, no matter the consequences.

When Gary hit that spot again, Mark bit his lip so hard he started bleeding. He moves his fist up and down his shaft faster, pre-cum dripping down his fingers.

Mark could take this no longer—

Sweat was glistening on his chest—

Couldn’t stay quiet—

Just couldn’t—

‘Gary, please,’ Mark pleaded, his voice no more than a whisper.

_He loved him._

Gary moved his hands to Mark’s neck and pushed his lips on his mouth hard, breaking the kiss only to look at each other briefly—

More footsteps…

Gary squeezed Mark’s throat slightly because he knew Mark liked it like that—

He gave it one more push, and they both came at the same time; Gary deep inside Mark, while Mark rode out his orgasm all over his stomach.

They remained in this position for a while, their lips pressed together as they held on to each other for dear life. Mark wished he could stay in this bed forever, snuggling up against Gary as they both fell asleep, but when he opened his eyes again and saw the look on Gary’s face, he knew it wouldn’t last.

 ‘I’m so sorry Mark,’ said Gary apologetically, ‘But I’m gonna have to…’  
  
Someone was banging on a door...

Gary could hear his name being called…

‘I know,’ said Mark. He smiled sadly. ‘Go. Quick, before anyone sees ya.’

Rather unceremoniously, Gary slipped out of Mark, got off the bed and immediately started to get dressed.

_He had to tell him._

_Just had to._

‘Gary?’ said Mark as Gary retrieved his blouse from the armchair.

‘Shh!’

The footsteps were becoming more and more distinct…

Gary nearly dislocated his shoulder trying to get his blouse on…

‘Bloody buttons!’

‘Gary, are you coming or what?’ It was a woman’s voice.

Gary’s heart did a back flip. ‘Just a second!’

Gary couldn’t fasten his belt; his hands were shaking too much.

‘Here, let me.’ Mark said, and he got off the bed and helped Gary get dressed. As he tied the belt around Gary’s trousers, Mark suddenly realized he had never helped Gary get dressed before. Not after a love-making session, anyway.

This suddenly made it personal, _domestic_ , and Mark’s heart ached to be together with Gary properly.

_He couldn’t, though, could he?_

Gary sighed in relief when the voice outside their door announced they were heading to bed.

The footsteps on the hallway passed Mark’s bedroom.

The light outside their door was turned off.

 _They were safe_.

‘We’ve made a right mess of this, Mark,’ said Gary quietly while Mark was making sure Gary’s blouse looked presentable. Messy hair aside, Gary looked like he did before he entered Mark’s room now. Decent. A good man without secrets.

No one would ever find out what they’d just done.

Mark felt a pang in his chest. _Like their relationship didn’t exist._

‘Can I – Can I just say something?’ said Mark. The words were out before his brain had even conjured them up.  
  
 ‘Sure.’

‘…I …’ Mark started, heat rushing to his cheeks, ‘I … Just, thanks. For tonight.’

Gary raised his eyebrows as though this didn’t need saying. ‘No need to thank me, Mark.’ He added, oblivious to Mark’s intentions, and he headed to the door like nothing had transpired. ‘You’re me best mate, after all.’

When Gary had left and closed the door behind him, Mark sighed bitterly. ‘Yeah. I love you too, Gary.’


End file.
